Sonata in Suspended Smiles

“I smile to hide my depression” he laughs, and I
pause too long; the smile drains. He laughs
again; uneasy, now. He won’t ask why
I froze; the silence whispers paragraphs.

“This homework gives me a panic attack!” She grins.
Her temple vein pulses; I twitch in response
As blood drains from her. No-one wins
this game of truths. It’s an all-around loss.

“You’re driving me crazy,” she giggles, shoving
happily by. The manic tinge of fear
gives lie to the laugh. Not surfeit of loving–
I bleed sympathy. No safety here.

“My teacher is psycho,” he mutters, angry scowl
bolding his words, the slight (imagined or real)
made distant by his self-righteous howl
of judgment. No chance of appeal.

“The kids are nuts,” she sighs, and all doors are gone
for students who just needed to find one.




The girl often feels like she is surrounded by eggshells; as if her outward persona is as thin and fragile as an eggshell, that at any moment, the thing inside her would break lose and show its ugly head.

The girl fights with a demon, a demon known as depression. It makes her fear being alone because it is when she is alone that the demon can attack. Imagine struggling everyday just to get out of bed, imagine struggling to make yourself do your work everyday when depression wants you to curl up in the corner of a dark room and brood. This was the girl’s past and it is the thing she constantly fears the return of. Despite being surrounded by people who love her and care about her, the girl is afraid of being alone and the return of her demon.

She does not know why causes the…

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